So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Well, guess it's time for another sporadic update of events in my life. I'm taking two spring courses (one of which carries on until mid-July, but by correspondence), which keeps me pretty busy: it's not all that long until I'm done though. Last Thursday was International Towel Day, to commemorate the brilliant achievements of the late, great, Douglas Adams, from whose work I have lifted the title of this post (it was the dolphins' final message to humanity, before they escaped the oncoming destruction of the planet Earth by the Vogon Constructor Fleet to make way for a new hyperspace bypass). Towel Day is where Adams' fans from around the world carry a towel around all day, and take photos to prove that they have done so (some of mine from on campus, at the lake, and on my way home from baseball are posted at the end of this post: if you want to see the full album, it's posted on my Facebook account (and if you don't yet have Facebook, you should get it!). As the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says,

A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical
value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

In other news, I have been playing sports three times a week at least: I play on a soccer team on Tuesdays, and in a softball league on Mondays and Thursdays, both of which are a lot of fun. Yesterday's soccer game was most interesting... we play 6 on 6 usually, on a small field, but this time, our team only had 4 players show up. I also managed to step in a pothole while warming up and give my ankle quite the twist. The other team decided to only play 5 players against us, but subbed others in quickly, and tried to run us into the ground... however, we defended pretty well and scored on some counter-attacks. Despite messing up my other knee in the process, and then rolling the first ankle again, I got a hat trick, and our team was leading 4-2 shortly after half. However, victory was not to be ours: one of our guys tripped over another hole in the field and landed really awkwardly on his ankle, which then proceeded to rapidly swell to epic (baseball-size) proportions. He had to go to the hospital right away, so we wound up having to forfeit the game after all that hard work. Fortunately, my injuries weren't as bad, but I'm still limping around a bit today.

Tomorrow, I have another action-filled day... Math class from 1-4 PM , then softball in the evening, and then I'm leaving for Washington, D.C. at 1:40 AM: catching the bus to the Toronto airport, and then an early morning flight to Washington. I'm going down there for the weekend to visit my uncle, who is in town for a stamp convention. We're going to try and see a fair bit of the sights, so I'll attempt to take some pictures and post them here.

Further upcoming events: my final exam for my Math class will be June 14th or 15th. I'm then leaving Kingston on June 20th, and flying to Manchester, England, where I plan to spend ten days visiting a friend. I'm returning to Vancouver on June 30th.

Towel Day Photos:

I must have been hit by an inspiration particle...

See Terry Pratchett's Sourcery for full explanation of the physics of inspiration particles: highly recommended. Anyways, with all the hockey I've been watching lately, I got the idea to make a list of proposed theme songs for all the NHL teams. Some of these come from the team name, others may be more in reference to their location, their history, or their style of play, and yet others may be inside jokes that you'll only get if you know the song and the team. Let me know what you think, if you want to know how I got a particular one, or if you want to recommend additions!

Anaheim Mighty Ducks: - Ducktales Theme - Disney
- Cinderella Man - Rush
- I'm A Believer - Smash Mouth (originally by The Monkees)
- Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix

Atlanta Thrashers: - Makes No Difference - Sum 41

Boston Bruins:
- The Hockey Song - Stomping Tom Connors
- For Boston! - The Dropkick Murphys

Buffalo Sabres:
- Flash Of The Blade - Iron Maiden
- At The Hundredth Meridian - The Tragically Hip

Calgary Flames:
- Fire - Arthur Brown
- Shot Down In Flames - AC/DC
- White Heat, Red Hot - Judas Priest
- Smoke On The Water - Deep Purple
- Down In Flames - Relient K

Carolina Hurricanes:
- Hurricane - Bob Dylan
- Rock You Like A Hurricane - Scorpions

Chicago Black Hawks:
- That'll Be The Day - Buddy Holly
- Run To The Hills - Iron Maiden
- Big Leagues - Tom Cochrane

Colorado Avalanche:
- Vertigo - U2
- In Too Deep - Sum 41

Columbus Blue Jackets: - Why Bother - The Trews

Dallas Stars:
- The Sun Is A Mass Of Incandescent Gas - They Might Be Giants
- The Last Gunfighter Ballad - Johnny Cash

Detroit Red Wings: - Flight Of Icarus - Iron Maiden

Edmonton Oilers:
- Mama, I'm Coming Home - Ozzy Osbourne
- Holiday In My Head - Smash Mouth

Florida Panthers:
- Welcome To The Jungle - Guns N' Roses

Los Angeles Kings:
- A Farewell To Kings - Rush
- Orange County - O.C. Supertones
- Killer Queen - Queen (Adam)

Minnesota Wild:
- Born To Be Wild - Steppenwolf
- Blue Collar - Bachman Turner Overdrive
- Grinder - Judas Priest

Montreal Canadiens: - Red, White and Blue - Judas Priest

Nashville Predators:
- Prowler - Iron Maiden
- I've Been Everywhere - Johnny Cash
- Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

New Jersey Devils:
- Highway To Hell - AC/DC
- Deal With The Devil - Judas Priest
- Sympathy For The Devil - Rolling Stones (also covered spectacularly by Guns N' Roses)
- Big Machine - Velvet Revolver

New York Islanders:
- No One Knows My Plan - They Might Be Giants
- Wasted Years - Iron Maiden
- Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne

New York Rangers:
- Money For Nothing - Dire Straits
- Forward Motion - Relient K

Ottawa Senators:
- I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
- Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Philadelphia Flyers:
- Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting - Nickelback (originally by Elton John)
- Sinking Like A Sunset - Tom Cochrane
- Raw Deal - Judas Priest (in reference to the Eric Lindros trade)

Phoenix Coyotes:
- Bark At The Moon - Ozzy Osbourne
- Wayne Gretzky Rocks - Arrogant Worms

Pittsburgh Penguins:
- Bad As I Am - Great Big Sea
- The Long Run - The Eagles

San Jose Sharks:
- Grand Designs - Rush
- A Sort Of Homecoming - U2
- We Looked Like Giants - Death Cab For Cutie (Adam)
- Jaws Theme Swimming - Brand New (Dan)
- Swallowed In The Sea - Coldplay (Dan)

St. Louis Blues:
- Summertime Blues - Rush (originally by Eddie Cochrane)
- It's A Long Way To The Top - AC/DC
- Gone By The Board - Great Big Sea
- The Man Who Sold The World - David Bowie (covered by Nirvana)
- Free Falling - Tom Petty

Tampa Bay Lightning:
- Thunderstruck - AC/DC
- Only The Good Die Young - Iron Maiden

Toronto Maple Leafs:
- The Thin Line Between Love And Hate - Iron Maiden
- 50 Mission Cap - The Tragically Hip
- Roll The Bones - Rush
- Counterproductive - Kiros


Vancouver Canucks:
- Home For A Rest - Spirit Of The West
- The End Of The Tour - They Might Be Giants
- Ride On - AC/DC
- Screaming For Vengeance - Judas Priest

Washington Capitals:
- Alexander The Great - Iron Maiden
- Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life - Monty Python

Now-defunct teams:

Atlanta Flames:
- The Devil Went Down To Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
- Old Flames Have New Names - Mark Chesnutt
- Phoenix From The Flames - Robbie Williams
- See The Flames Begin To Crawl - Five Iron Frenzy

California Golden Seals:
- Ferryland Sealer - Great Big Sea
- Seal Driver - Jethro Tull

Colorado Rockies:
- Land Of Confusion - Genesis (somewhat obscure reference: the song makes several references to "too many men", which was what knocked the Don Cherry-coached Rockies out of the playoffs one year)
- Rocky Mountain Way - The Eagles
- Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor

Hartford Whalers:
- Bob Marley and the Hartford Whalers - The Zambonis
- The Whaler's Dues - Jethro Tull
- Harpoon - Jimmy Eat World
- We Are The Champions - Queen (Mrs. Chapman)
- Old Polina - Great Big Sea

Minnesota North Stars:
- Welcome To North - Immortal Souls
- Winter Nights - Iced Earth

Quebec Nordiques:
- Crime Of The Century - Supertramp (in reference to the Lindros trade)
- Fate's Warning - Iron Maiden

Winnipeg Jets:
- Jet Airliner - Steve Miller Band
- Jet - Paul McCartney and Wings
- Leaving on a Jet Plane - Janis Joplin

"Mrs. McKee's farmer will also have to find a new Jersey tomorrow."

The title is taken from possibly the best line ever uttered on Hockey Night In Canada. For those who missed this moment of brilliance, here's the story: Buffalo defenceman Jay McKee is originally from Kingston, ON (where I live). His mom and her friend went down to watch the Ottawa-Buffalo game in Ottawa on Monday night, wearing Sabres jerseys. After watching the Sabres defeat the Senators, they began to drive back to Kingston. A bunch of cattle had wandered onto the highway somehow, and Mrs. McKee hit a cow, totaling her car (and the cow!). However, she and her friend walked away from the crash, and were helped by several Senators fans, despite wearing the wrong jerseys. At the next Senators-Buffalo game on Wednesday, HNIC interviewed Jay McKee, and asked him about the accident. He went on to relate the story. They then did their usual flashback to Ron MacLean and Kelly Hrudey in studio, where they talk for a minute, and then lead in to a commercial break. On this occasion, MacLean said that "We'll have an update for you on the Carolina-New Jersey game right after the break. Mrs McKee's farmer will also have to find a new Jersey tomorrow." The timing was so perfect, and it was such a brilliant pun, that it cracked me up for a good couple of minutes.

Anyways, about what's new here: not a whole lot. Classes are going well, but take a lot of work. I'm also playing in a recreational summer soccer league, and on a church softball team, so I have 3-4 sporting events per week, keeping me busy. I haven't found a part-time job yet, and there don't seem to be a lot available, so I may just wait until I come back to B.C. to work.

By the way, I was asked to write a test column for the Queen's Journal (student newspaper) on my thoughts on the NHL playoffs and who was going to win: thought I'd post it here for fun. It's below.

Queen’s Journal: Sports Test Column: Duck Power
By Andrew Bucholtz

Although the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim are no longer owned by Disney, they are following in the footsteps of their fictional namesakes from the movies. In each of the three Mighty Ducks movies, an underdog team defeats overwhelming odds and adversity en route to an unlikely victory. This appears to be an accurate representation of this year’s Anaheim team: at the start of the year, many observers looked upon this season as a rebuilding one for the franchise, and predicted the Ducks to finish the year out of the playoff hunt.
However, general manager Brian Burke made several key moves in the off-season, rookie coach Randy Carlyle forged a tightly knit team and system, and the players stepped up to lead the Ducks to a strong regular season. They also had a great push to the playoffs, winning 11 out of 16 games in March and securing the sixth seed in the highly competitive Western Conference. Yet, they were still taken lightly by many, especially when they were matched up against the powerful Calgary Flames, Stanley Cup finalists in the NHL’s previous season, and one of the most hard-working and physically punishing teams in the NHL. The Ducks managed to outplay the Flames over the span of a seven-game series: they also beat star goalie Mikka Kiprusoff (a nominee for both the Hart (MVP) and Vezina (top goalie) Trophies), and convincingly shut down Jarome Iginla, one of the league’s elite power forwards. The Ducks have now recently shut out a strong Colorado team 5-0 and 3-0. Their performance this year makes them the best candidate to win the Stanley Cup, for three major reasons.

The first key element of the Ducks’ success is their captain, Scott Niedermayer, a 3-time Stanley Cup champion, and their major free-agent acquisition in the off-season. In the last NHL season, Niedermayer won the Norris Trophy, given to the league’s top defenceman, with a strong 54-point performance. This year, he has taken his game to a new level: he improved his point total to 63, and has become the most dominating player on the Anaheim roster. He routinely shuts down the opposition’s top forwards, as evidenced by his holding Iginla pointless in Games 6 and 7 of the first round series against the Flames. He quarterbacks the power play, does a great job on the penalty kill, and is always dangerous offensively in even-strength situations as well. His leadership is a fundamental reason why the Ducks have made it this far and why they will continue on to victory.

The second vital part of this Anaheim team is their star forward, Teemu Selanne. Selanne, the “Finnish Flash”, holds the NHL’s record for goals in a rookie season with 76. He has had a solid career since, but his last season was unimpressive, largely due to injuries. However, this year he has regained his old form, scoring 40 goals and 90 points with a plus/minus rating of +28 to lead the Ducks in all three categories. He was a large part of Finland’s drive to Olympic silver, and also has been one of the league’s hottest players since returning from the Olympic break. Furthermore, he has continued his offensive dominance in the playoffs with 4 goals and 9 points, leading the team in both categories. Selanne will be a crucial part of the Ducks’ drive for the Cup.

The final reason for the Ducks’ tremendous success is the outstanding performance of their rookie players. Midway through the series against the Flames, rookie Ilja Bryzgalov stepped in to fill the large skates of Jean-Sebastien Giguere, the Ducks’ former Conn Smythe-winning (playoff MVP) goalie. Bryzgalov put in an outstanding performance, and earned himself the starting job. He has since gone on to ring up three consecutive shutouts, passing Frank McCool’s 1945 record of consecutive minutes of shutout hockey played by a rookie goaltender in the playoffs, and moving into fourth place on the all-time list of consecutive playoff shutout minutes. Francois Beauchemin, the Ducks’ rookie defenceman, is second only to Selanne in playoff points with seven. Chris Kunitz had a great regular season, and has put up 6 points thus far in the playoffs. Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf, two rookie forwards who starred for Canada’s gold-winning 2005 World Junior team, have provided valuable scoring depth to the Ducks throughout the year, and rookie power forward Dustin Penner has been constantly dangerous on offense. The talent of these rookies, combined with the strong play and experience of veterans such as Niedermayer, Selanne, Andy McDonald, and Jeff Friesen, should lead the Ducks to follow in the footsteps of their movie brethren as the Cinderella team that comes out of nowhere to seize victory.