All That You Can't Leave Behind

I thought that ripping off the U2 album was an appropriate way to title this post, seeing as it seems to be my main struggle lately. I'm leaving for Queen's on Thursday (EARLY morning), and am currently struggling with my packing. It is so hard to compress your life and possessions into a few suitcases. I'm also having to leave a lot of friends and family behind. Fortunately, I was able to get together with a bunch of them Saturday for my birthday party, and then again yesterday (both with my family get-together and then Drew's party). It feels really weird though: yesterday was the last time I'll see a lot of them, at least until Christmas. I've never moved before, and have lived in the same house in the same city for my entire life, so deciding what to take is quite a new experience. Actually, moving is helping me to understand my favorite book (Lord of the Rings) in a much deeper way. I feel just like Bilbo or Frodo, pushed out of my comfortable hobbit hole for the uncertainty of the road ahead. Granted, I did choose this "adventure" for myself (unless there were any suspicious-looking wizards around that I didn't see when I was choosing universities), but I definitely am stepping out of the comfort zone of Hobbiton. Hopefully, I won't forget my cloak and pipe!

The Road goes ever on and on down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, and I must follow, if I can, pursuing it with eager feet, until it joins some larger way where many paths and errands meet. And whither then? I cannot say." - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Where to begin?

The last couple of weeks have been pretty crazy for me, and I've sort of neglected this blog. In order to reduce your eyestrain potential, I'm just going to list what's happened and just summarize the optimistic and pessimistic aspects of each...

First event: Parents going away for close to two weeks.
Upside: Having the house to myself.
Downside: Being responsible. Seriously, I hate this: if I had been willing just to trash the place and have wild parties, I could have had more fun (well, at the time anyways). Instead, I spent most of the time doing dishes, watering the lawn, and who can forget work. I had a grand total of 2 people show up for the one get together I did try to have, so that sort of put a damper on it. Oh well: it was actually sort of fun, and I liked the independence.

Second event: Car dying (starter went)
Upside: Didn't cost that much to fix, mechanic dealt with it right away (great guy by the way), and everyone at work was great about it: one of my managers (read:boss) even let me use his car for deliveries the one night mine was busted, and his car is both a lot newer and nicer than mine.
Downside: Of course, the universe is out to get me (or maybe just that annoying Murphy), so my car would break down while my parents are gone and I have zero access to other transportation: that was rather a pain.

Third event: Softball tournament
Upside: Got to play some sports, got to travel to Golden (road trip!), got a decent tan (well, excepting my torso, due to wearing a softball uniform: it's still pasty), got to use my tent again, and there were some pretty good looking girls in the tournament as well...
Downside: None of the girls would give me the time of day, it was ridiculously hot, I got eaten alive by mosquitoes, and of course, I would have to get into a massive row with my family on the way home...

Fourth event: Preparing for university
Upside: Looking forward to leaving home and living on my own... relations with my family are becoming somewhat strained, and they'll probably work out better when we don't have to deal with each other every day. Just got my grad present laptop, which is sweet: better than our current desktop computer! I also found out that I got into residence, which I was worried about: apparently Queen's is having a bit of a housing shortage, so I'm glad I got in (and in a double room, rather than a triple or temp).

Downside: I'm starting to realize how much I'm going to miss this area. I've lived in one house all my life, so I have no idea what it's like to move. Also, I'm starting to come to grips with the fact that I may never see some of my good friends again (or at least not for quite a while). At the start of summer/end of grad, it didn't seem real at all: we promised we'd all stick together over summer and hang out, but it hasn't really happened that much due to people's work schedules. I know this sounds somewhat sappy and/or stupid, but I really am missing my regular contacts with friends. It's even worse to think of how there's only going to be one friend of mine even in the same province as me, and still quite a ways away. I mean, I've never been the sort of person to do something just to be with friends, or just because they're doing it: I did choose to go away to university, and I'm happy with that choice, but I'm beginning to figure out what that entails. I'm also nervous about getting my stuff there (still haven't found a good way to ship it), what classes are going to be like (I'm terrified of bombing Calculus again), and especially, what my roomate will be like: hopefully, he'll be a good guy, but I've heard some horror stories from other people who wound up with terrible roomies in college. Oh well, nothing I can really do about that.

Anyways, if you haven't yet picked up on it from the tone of this blog, I'm rather depressed. There's still so much I have to do, but I really can't motivate myself to do any of it. I'm also struggling with sorting out my friends/ideas/beliefs, which is another real pain, and it's not a good time for this to be happening. Oh well... this has been my vent, so it's probably time to stop ranting and get back to putting my face into... er, i mean nose to the grindstone. We'll see how it all works out...

Quote of the day: "Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind" -
Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man


The End!!!!!