No more pencils/No more books/No more teachers' dirty looks
Go Alice Cooper! School is, in fact, out for winter: my last classes were today. Why don't I feel free yet? Oh right, those tiny little things known as exams... ah well, still have a week and a bit before they kick in. My first exam is next Saturday: seriously, who schedules exams for Saturday?! That's just mean and evil, and is clearly a system designed by benburbs and clovises, as the following exchange shows.*
Student: "Well, who made you in charge then? I didn't vote for you!"
Professor: "You don't vote for university faculty. They're appointed by our Chancellor."
Student: "Look, strange women sitting in offices distributing positions is no basis for running a university! Power derives from a mandate from the student body, not some farcical bureaucratic ceremony!
Professor: "Be quiet!"
Student: "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some old lady "hired" you! I mean, if I went around saying I was on the faculty just because some watery tart lobbed a contract at me, people would put me away!"
Professor: "Shut up! Will you shut up!"
Student: "Ah, now we see the verbal abuse inherent in the system!"
Professor: "SHUT UP!"
Student: "Come and see the verbal abuse inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
Professor: "Bloody student!"
My apologies to the Monty Python troupe.
Words of the day:
BENBURB (n.)
The sort of man who becomes a returning officer.
CLOVIS (q.v.)
One who actually looks forward to putting up the Christmas decorations in the office.
EPPING (participial vb.)
The futile movements of forefingers and eyebrows used when failing to attract the attention of waiters and barmen.
EPWORTH (n.)
The precise value of the usefulness of epping (q.v.). It is a little-known fact than an earlier draft of the final line of the film Gone with the Wind had Clark Gable saying 'Frankly my dear, i don't give an epworth', the line being eventually changed on the grounds that it might not be understood in Cleveland.
* Conversation may not have actually occured. Do not attempt in real life unless you don't mind being expelled from university. Oh, and if Chancellor Karen Hitckcock is reading this, I actually don't think you're all that evil...
Student: "Well, who made you in charge then? I didn't vote for you!"
Professor: "You don't vote for university faculty. They're appointed by our Chancellor."
Student: "Look, strange women sitting in offices distributing positions is no basis for running a university! Power derives from a mandate from the student body, not some farcical bureaucratic ceremony!
Professor: "Be quiet!"
Student: "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some old lady "hired" you! I mean, if I went around saying I was on the faculty just because some watery tart lobbed a contract at me, people would put me away!"
Professor: "Shut up! Will you shut up!"
Student: "Ah, now we see the verbal abuse inherent in the system!"
Professor: "SHUT UP!"
Student: "Come and see the verbal abuse inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
Professor: "Bloody student!"
My apologies to the Monty Python troupe.
Words of the day:
BENBURB (n.)
The sort of man who becomes a returning officer.
CLOVIS (q.v.)
One who actually looks forward to putting up the Christmas decorations in the office.
EPPING (participial vb.)
The futile movements of forefingers and eyebrows used when failing to attract the attention of waiters and barmen.
EPWORTH (n.)
The precise value of the usefulness of epping (q.v.). It is a little-known fact than an earlier draft of the final line of the film Gone with the Wind had Clark Gable saying 'Frankly my dear, i don't give an epworth', the line being eventually changed on the grounds that it might not be understood in Cleveland.
* Conversation may not have actually occured. Do not attempt in real life unless you don't mind being expelled from university. Oh, and if Chancellor Karen Hitckcock is reading this, I actually don't think you're all that evil...
posted by Andrew Bucholtz at 10:26 a.m.
8 Comments:
Andrew you need to email John Cleese and apologize. That was terrible :) I loved it though. Study hard pal.
Adam... see the definitions at the end of each post... I'm not clever to make those up, I lifted them from Douglas Adams (look back a few posts for full explanation).
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
oh man, i laugh quite hard at that little blurp for holy grail. Perfect. Magnificent. Generally pretty good.
Andrew, just so you know, I'm going to the Canucks-Senators game on Friday. I saw your mom and dad at the Christmas concert tonight. I think you should email the post and see if your dad can use it as an editorial.
Dude, Judas Priest as one of your favorite bands. They're terrible.
I don't know whats going on...have fun with studying.
Man Mr. Beimers, I'm so jealous... that's going to be one of the best games this season. My roommate is a huge Sens fan, so we're going to watching it together (and probably fist-fighting over which team's better during commercial breaks). Anyways, how can you insult Judas Priest? They're classic metal masters... besides, I can't argue with a band that's in favour of wearing that much leather. So, how's the filling the school with subversive liberal propaganda unopposed working out for you, now that I'm gone?;)
You'd love it, we are all voting communist in the next election, but we need someone to run in Fort Langley-Langley...I miss seeing you around, I haven't been called a liberal since you left. Wow, that felt good.
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