Happy New Year... almost!
Well, it's now officially New Year's Eve, so I thought I'd post wishes for a great New Year for all of you. Haven't really been doing too much lately: hung out downtown with some friends yesterday, which was good times. One more week until I return to Kingston, which of course has its ups and downs. Anyways, thought I'd end the blogging year with some terrible (but strangely entertaining, to me at least) puns I found on the internet (actually, these are apparently selected from the top 10 finalists in the International Pun Competition, so they're either the world's best or worst, depending on how you look at it:D!) :
- Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
- Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
- Holiday Pun: A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
- Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
- A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him ...
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
- And my favorite: These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
- Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
- Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
- Holiday Pun: A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
- Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
- A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him ...
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
- And my favorite: These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
posted by Andrew Bucholtz at 1:40 a.m.
3 Comments:
Buccholtz those were reeeeaaly bad and admittedly I laughed at almost every one of them. keep sluggin pal.
stew
Well Adam, I'm pretty sure Hermanator was originally Sean's nickname, and he is bigger than you... you can fight it out with him if you like!
Either that, Adam, or you could be the Hermanator 1000....
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