Happy New Year... almost!

Well, it's now officially New Year's Eve, so I thought I'd post wishes for a great New Year for all of you. Haven't really been doing too much lately: hung out downtown with some friends yesterday, which was good times. One more week until I return to Kingston, which of course has its ups and downs. Anyways, thought I'd end the blogging year with some terrible (but strangely entertaining, to me at least) puns I found on the internet (actually, these are apparently selected from the top 10 finalists in the International Pun Competition, so they're either the world's best or worst, depending on how you look at it:D!) :

- Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

- Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

- Holiday Pun: A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

- Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

- A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

- Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him ...
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


- And my favorite: These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Best of neither world?

Just some musings...

I've enjoyed being back in B.C. for Christmas, and it's definitely good to see old friends like I did today (at volleyball, and then just hanging out afterwards). However, I also don't really feel part of this world anymore... I feel like I've somehow moved on and left it behind. Yet, when I'm in Kingston, I don't really feel at home either, and feel like there's a part of that never left B.C. It's not just geography or location either: it definitely goes back to what I was talking about earlier via spheres of experience. I'm now realizing it's more than just experience: there's definitely parts of my personality/ideas/values I can share with some people and not others, and then it's reversed for different people. I read a really interesting article a while back for my History of Modern Europe Class. It was by a sociology professor, Mavis Biesanz, and it subdivided people into three basic groups: traditional man, transitional man, and modern man. Traditional man lives by inherited values and customs, while modern man is guided by logic, science and reason. I definitely place myself in the transitional stage: there's definitely parts of me that want to follow the customs and values I grew up with, and there's part that wants to totally reject them. Also, in addition to reason fighting against these inherited values, my base emotional desires (or id, if you like Freudian terminology) also despise them. However, neither the acceptance or rejection of these values makes me truly happy. As Biesanz points out, “[Transitional man was often] a misfit, unhappy in his village, [and] frustrated by the fact that no one agreed with him...", which is a pretty accurate description of my life at times. It's definitely a weird feeling, knowing that there are whole areas of your life that subscribe to contradictory ideas... the thing that makes it the worst though, is that there isn't anyone else who can really see things from the whole sphere of your perspective; each person can only catch the bit of you that you can reveal to them...

My Chief Weapon: Fear and Surprise!

No, this is just another blog: I hope you weren't expecting the Spanish Inquisition or something...
Anyways, even the old inquisition standbys of the comfy chair and the soft pillows are nothing compared to the torture of a brutally hard physics exam... oh well, we'll see how it turns out. At least I'm finally finished, and I'm still heading home tonight (on one of the few Toronto-Vancouver flights that hasn't yet been canceled due to weather: crossing my fingers at the moment that it won't be later on). I'm rather worn out from exams and studying, so I'm very much looking forward to a nice break.

Today's Quote(s) of the Day: In keeping with the Spanish Inquisition theme, I've decided to present some quotes from Good Omens, a collaboration between Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, and the funniest book I've ever read about the Apocalpyse (not that many of them try to be funny, so it's a rather limited field: still, a great book). There's a section where these British kids come up with their own Inquisition against the local village witch; I'll give you the highlights.

Adam: "Someone ought to be doing something if there's all these witches about. It's - it's like that Neighbourhood Watch scheme.

Pepper: "Neighbourhood Witch."

Adam: "No"

Wensleydale: "But we can't be the Spanish Inquisition. We're not Spanish."

Adam: "I bet you don't have to be Spanish to be the Spanish Inquisition. I bet it's like Scottish eggs or American hamburgers. It just has to look Spanish."

.....

Adam hesitated. His sister Sarah and her boyfriend had also been to Spain. Sarah had returned with a very large purple donkey which, while definitely Spanish, did not come up to what Adam instinctively felt should be the tone of the Spanish Inquisition.

.....

"I don't see why it shouldn't be a British Inquisition," said Brian. "Don't see why we should of fought the Armada and everything, just to have their smelly Inquisition."

..... (after dunking Pepper's sister in a lake)
"What happens now?" said Pepper's sister.
Adam hesitated. Setting fire to her would probably cause no end of trouble, he reasoned. Besides, she was too soggy to burn.

.....

"I bet if they'd jus' let us get started properly we could have found hundreds of witches," Adam told himself, kicking a stone. "I bet ole Torturemada din't have to give up jus' when he was getting started just because some stupid witch got her dress dirty."

That's a relief...

Well, I freaked myself out for a moment. Most of you probably know of my hatred for my eternal nemesis, the Canadian Tire Guy. Well, as I said in the last post, I've been watching a lot of back episodes of Smallville lately, and there's one character (Lana Lang's biological father) who really looks like him: so much, in fact that I had to check it out. I did so with nervous anticipation, because I enjoy his character (Henry Small), but I hate Canadian Tire Guy, so if they were played by the same person, my logic circuits would overload and I'd be off into the "get that man a padded cell" category. However, fortunately, it's only a drastic resemblance... Canadian Tire Guy is played by Ted Simonett, and Henry Small is played by Patrick Cassidy. Thus, Canadian Tire Guy will continue to be the Vader to my Luke, the Borg to my Federation, the Vogons to my Earth and the Killer Rabbit to my Knights of the Round Table... By the way, if you want to know about how hard it is to find out who Canadian Tire Guy really is, read this guy's blog: http://www.counterbias.com/blog/2005/07/canadian-tire-guy.html. Very interesting (well, I thought so, anyways!) Anyways, check out the perfect parallel pics pinned prepostorously post-post (at the end of this posting), and then tell me if you think they look somewhat similar, or if I'm just nuts.

In other news, I only have one exam remaining. Friday shall now officially be known as "P-Day", or Physics day. There always needs to be some challenge in my life, it seems, and this is definitely the current one. Oh well, once it's done, I'll be returning to B.C. for what will hopefully be a nice, relaxing Christmas break. Still lots to do before then, though, so I should get going...

Quote of the day:

"Quid custodiet custard?" - Terry Pratchett
(Instead of who watches the watchers, who watches the custard: said by an intellectual mob member)

"The trouble with you, Ibid, is you think you're the biggest bloody authority on everything!"

Props to whoever gets the title quotation/joke without explanation. For everyone else, it's taken from a book by Terry Pratchett, who is officially the funniest author living. There's these two philosophers out experimenting at the "Axiom Testing Station", and they're trying to see if a tortoise can outrun an arrow. According to Xeno, one philosopher (modeled after the Greek Zeno), if you aim at the tortoise, it will have moved on a little bit by the time the arrow gets there, and thus you'll miss it (this is actually one of the real Zeno's motion paradoxes). Unfortunately for Xeno, they keep hitting the tortoise. Anyways, the other philosopher, Ibid, criticizes him, and Xeno replies with the aforementioned quote. If you still don't get it, Ibid. is short for the Latin ibidem, which means "in the same place", and is the most commonly used reference in any paper, as it means simply see the above footnote. It cracked me up the first time I read it, but my sense of humour is very unique... I found it appropriate for this post, seeing as I'm currently struggling through writing a 7 page history paper about the European revolutions of 1848, which are most famous for their lack of success (fascinating, I know)...

Anyways, in other news, my first exam was yesterday, on Calculus. It was okay, but as most of you know, mathematics is my mortal enemy, so of course it can't have been great... Oh well, we'll see how it turns up. This is my last week in Kingston for a while: I have a Latin exam tomorrow, a Chemistry exam the day after, and then a Physics exam Friday morning. I'm flying home Friday night, and will be getting in early Saturday morning, so any of you B.C. types, let me know if you want to get together.

Random musing of the day: I've been getting addicted to Smallville lately, and just finished watching the entire first season (working my way through the second one at the moment). It's amazing how much it resonates with me: not just the obvious fact that I recognize practically every location, as it was mostly shot in Cloverdale, but I can also really identify with some of the characters and situations. For me, my life in B.C. is a lot like that sort of community: sure, it isn't as small and as hick, but there's still that sort of everybody-knows you feeling, especially among the circles I have contacts in. I sort of feel the same tension between two worlds as well: granted, Kingston is a long way from Metropolis, but it's definitely quite different from Surrey...
The thing that resonates with me even more, though, is the idea that everybody only knows part of who you are. It's definitely true for me... there's some connections you make with certain people, and then you make others with other people, and it seems you never really get to know anyone completely (whether that's possible at all is another subject for debate!). Anyways, that's enough randomness for now...

No more pencils/No more books/No more teachers' dirty looks

Go Alice Cooper! School is, in fact, out for winter: my last classes were today. Why don't I feel free yet? Oh right, those tiny little things known as exams... ah well, still have a week and a bit before they kick in. My first exam is next Saturday: seriously, who schedules exams for Saturday?! That's just mean and evil, and is clearly a system designed by benburbs and clovises, as the following exchange shows.*

Student: "Well, who made you in charge then? I didn't vote for you!"

Professor: "You don't vote for university faculty. They're appointed by our Chancellor."

Student: "Look, strange women sitting in offices distributing positions is no basis for running a university! Power derives from a mandate from the student body, not some farcical bureaucratic ceremony!

Professor: "Be quiet!"

Student: "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some old lady "hired" you! I mean, if I went around saying I was on the faculty just because some watery tart lobbed a contract at me, people would put me away!"

Professor: "Shut up! Will you shut up!"

Student: "Ah, now we see the verbal abuse inherent in the system!"

Professor: "SHUT UP!"

Student: "Come and see the verbal abuse inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"

Professor: "Bloody student!"

My apologies to the Monty Python troupe.


Words of the day:

BENBURB (n.)
The sort of man who becomes a returning officer.

CLOVIS (q.v.)
One who actually looks forward to putting up the Christmas decorations in the office.

EPPING (participial vb.)
The futile movements of forefingers and eyebrows used when failing to attract the attention of waiters and barmen.

EPWORTH (n.)
The precise value of the usefulness of epping (q.v.). It is a little-known fact than an earlier draft of the final line of the film Gone with the Wind had Clark Gable saying 'Frankly my dear, i don't give an epworth', the line being eventually changed on the grounds that it might not be understood in Cleveland.


* Conversation may not have actually occured. Do not attempt in real life unless you don't mind being expelled from university. Oh, and if Chancellor Karen Hitckcock is reading this, I actually don't think you're all that evil...

Political Rant #8675309

Note: The title is a warning: if you don't like these, proceed to the reception, where they'll be playing the "Chicken Dance", so enjoy the "Chicken Dance"...

I'm very glad they've finally gotten around to calling an election. It will be awesome to finally be able to be able to vote (I still think 18 as a voting age really sucks, just because throughout high school and parts of elementary school, I cared more about politics than most people of voting age do!). Anyways, I'll obviously be backing the Conservatives: Harper's plan to lower the GST is awesome, and I actually have faith that he'll do it, unlike a certain governing party (the Liberals have promised over and over again to get rid of it, and made that a primary plank of their 1993 election policy, concieved by Paul Martin to boot!) Reducing a consumption tax is great: it encourages spending, and thus should help the economy. Harper's also talking about reducing income taxes as well, which I'd also like. Now, if only they'd throw in some more tax breaks for students...

However, all this pales in comparison before reason #1 to vote Conservative:
They haven't thrown away billions of dollars and funded their own party with our taxes! http://www.gomery.ca/en/phase1report/summary/.
How anyone can still vote for Martin and cronies after that brilliant financial management is beyond me, but it will still happen... I think the election will probably wind up very close, easily resulting in either a Liberal or Conservative minority. Despite how much I despise the NDP and Greens, (Yay communism/burning money instead of fossil fuels!) I actually am hoping they do decently and rob the Liberals of some support. No conservative voter in his right mind would swing to either of those parties, so if they do well, it will be at Liberal expense.
Anyways, that's enough for now, so I'll [/rant].

Harper for PM!